


Longing

by seventhtimes



Series: I will always choose you and love you Parabatai. [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Grumpy Alec Lightwood, I don't know how to tag properly, It didn't turned out the way it was supposed to, Jace Wayland Feels, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Pissed of Alec Lightwood, There will be no Malec, This is ambiguous, This is late, This takes place in like season 1, What the hell am I doing ?, jalec - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-09-18 20:22:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20318947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventhtimes/pseuds/seventhtimes
Summary: There's something about others looking his parabatai that Jace dislike. Hate, as a matter of fact.Jace was so screwed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes in the end !

There's something about others looking at his parabatai that Jace dislikes. He hates it, as a matter of fact.

Of course there are the neutral, professional looks. Those are fine. But Jace is not blind. His parabatai is gorgeous. His well sculpted face, those hazel eyes making him look like if he was actually high many times. His almost constant bitch face, and his mouth. Lord Raziel help him, this mouth is screaming to be fucked. The guy should get arrested for attempted murder. Really.

It has been a while now since Jace is thinking that way about Alec. But he had been acting like a coward for a while now. Because he doesn't know if he's willing to throw away what he has now and taking risks. In fact, Jace is not afraid of the Clave, they don't want relationships between parabatai, but this is not illegal and they wouldn't dare get in between. A pair was working the way they wanted.

No, the thing he was afraid of was.. Alec himself. He knew for a fact that Alec had been in love with him since day one.

But he was afraid of the implications. He could not mess up with Alec. He already has done too much. He couldn't risk his parabatai. 

In the meantime, on the other side of the room, Alec gives him an unreadable look.

Jace was so screwed.

-

The day had gone as usual. Working, tracking, training. But what had him on the edge today was Alec's behaviour over that damn warlock. The guy in himself was fine, but what was not was the looks he gave to his parabatai. The worst thing was that Alec seemed to be pleased by the attention. Hell, he was blushing and acting like a teenager who'd been approached by his crush. 

And Jace was definitely not happy with that. Plus the fact that Alec was constantly on the edge with Clary. The girl had lost everything and been thrown in a new world, with new rules, and everyone was expecting something from her. Of course she was overwhelmed. 

This is why at some point when, they got back at the Institute, much later on, Jace decided to have a proper conversation with Alec. 

When he entered Alec's room he didn't expected to find him shirtless mumbling about some 'stupid redhead and stupid flirty gorgeous warlock'.

"Hey Alec, may I come in ?" Jace asked, half way between the door and a feet already in the room.

"Do as you pleased Jace." Wow. Well. He entered the room, closed the door and took a few steps in, crossing his arms over his torso.

"Hem.. Is there something you wanna talk about ? You seem a little on edge those days and.."

"And you remember that I existed, apart from ordering me around like a lap dog ? Wait let me think.. Maybe I've not wag my tail like a happy puppy when Clary put us again in a life or death situation ? Putting you in danger, forcing me to cover your ass once more ?"

Alec stopped, realizing that he had been almost screaming in the end, and most likely -if you'd asked Jace- because he was now, out of breath. 

"Are you done or.. ?"

"What do you want Jace ?" asked Alec, clearly done with the situation.

"To talk to you ? If that's.. possible. Look you know what, I'm just going to.. Talk, and if.. I don't know just smack my head and I'll stop if it makes you feel better ?"

Alec raised a brow, crossing his arms over his torso, clearly waiting for Jace to go on with whatever he wanted.

"I .. Arg. I actually came to see if there was something you wanted to say about Clary, I don't know, you just seem so .. pissed. Like more than usual when she's around and I just don't get it. But I know", Jace raised his right hand, letting the left go along his body, for Alec to let him going on. "I know that I have been an ass with you since she's here. So I guess I owe you an apology."

Alec puffed a little, sat on the corner of his bed and started to talk.

"Look.. I know you like her and all." He started moving his hands around with both his brows in the air and a disgust face. "But since the beginning, I'm asking you to sit and think of how she came into our lives. How you are following her everywhere, she is making you do nonesens and she puts all of us in danger. But, you are being a stubborn ass. You've never followed rules, but here.. It's bigger. Plus you are not thinking of.. As selfish as it may sounds, you are not thinking of the position you are putting me in. While the parents are gone, I am the acting Head of the institute, and I am not doing my job properly, and it may get in between my future. He sighs. I just.. I thoughts that you would think of me. As my parabatai. You of all people, are supposed to have my back. But those days the only thing you've done is.. Ordering me around. Not taking my opinions into consideration, you did tell me to shut up. What is the next move ? We fight ? I am sorry Jace but.. I can't. This is not what we are supposed to do with each other."

That was.. the most he heard Alec talks for a while. And he was sure that there was more. 

"You are right. With everything, and I didn't saw things that way. I just wanted to help and.."

"And get laid." Jace stops in the middle of his sentence, raising is brow, pulling a face.

"What, wow. No. I mean. She's pretty, and kind, and I know how it sounds, but I like her that's it. I just want to help."

"You're acting like a lovesick puppy, plus, you can't tell me you've not been interested in her. Not when I can sense jealousy and arousal."

Jace's cheeks flushed at that. Oh boy. This is not for Clary he was feeling those things.

"Really Alec I am not here to talk about that, but you really don't get it. "

"You are the one who's not getting it Jace."

Alec stands right when Jace tried to sit next to him. He starts moving around, letting Jace sitting in Alec's bed. "What is getting me on my nerves is that.. She is acting around like she knows everything, or she's judging our lives. For fuck's sake this girl, is some.. Mundane. She is not one, but you get my point. She doesn't knows a goddamn thing. She is selfish and just interested in finding her mum no matter how it affects our lives."

Jace was not going to argue with him. They thoughts differently, but he was not going to change Alec's mind. The only, true, thing that matters right now wat to make things right with his parabatai. 

"Are you feeling better ?" Jace asked.

"Kind of. Listen.. Thanks for coming in and all but I am exhausted, and I need sleep, I just want to.."

"Get in your bed and sleep. Got it." 

None of them moved. 

"Wh.. What ? Are you going to stay here ? Move I don't know, do something, oh my god Jace you are staring me."

Jace's brain cells seemed to have stopped working at some point, and he was acting weird. He knows it but..

"Would it be a great deal if I was ?"

"Huh ?"

"Staying ?" Dumbass? He wanted to punch himself.

"You.. want to stay ?" asked Alec, frowning.

"Yeah like.. You know with everything going on, Valentine and everything, plus the bond, I don't know, like when we were younger ? It would be… nice ?"

Now Jace was talking like some teenage girl with a crush.

Alec moved, shrugged, and just got in his bed. Jace took all of his clothes off, only keeping his underwear. They were both lying on the bed and the atmosphere was definitely weird. But it still felt right. 

After a while they both fell asleep, their breathing and heart in sync for a while now. Both of them felt good. Awkward but safe.

And if they ended up cuddling in the middle of the night, none of them addressed it the following morning.

For some business Magnus was in the institute. This is when Clary saw him and decided to try to talk to him. She wanted him to know that she was grateful for his help and she also wanted to know.. In a selfish way, if he was going to ask Alec out, giving her a chance to get closer to Jace.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary have feelings for Jace, also she can tell that Magnus is interested in Alec and is wondering why he is not making any moves.

“Hey, Magnus can I ask you a question ?” The warlock faced her, put a smile on his face and answered.

“You just did but.. Go ahead.”

“I can tell that you are interested in Alec, but you are not trying to make any move.. Because I just want to kind of.. repay you for your help. I'm sure that Alec could be interested in..”

Magnus didn't give her a chance to keep going. Yes Alec could be interested, yes it had been funny to flirt with him, but he had seen the look on Jace’s face and would not pursue. This would just break everyone’s heart at some point. He'd rather stay away from them and just be friendly with their group. 

“I am definitely not going to try to interfere between a pair of parabatai.”

“What is the point ? They are not a couple.” That kid was sweet but definitely blind.

“There is so much you don't know about this world Biscuit. No, they are not. But, a parabatai is a sacred bond and a sacred kind of love. Getting in a relationship with a parabatai means that you need to be ready to accept that, you are never going to come first for your lover. And that is just for the ‘regular’ pair if I can say that.” He tried to explain to her. 

“How Jace and Alec are different ?”

“They are closer than most. They seem to argue every time but that is deeper. That means more. This, in my experience, is passion. And they are almost one. I have known multiple parabatai pairs, their relationships are sacred, some just share a different kind of bond. Their is stronger. Jace and Alec.. I wouldn't dare get between them. They have the potential to become more than what they are now. The two of them are just to afraid for now.”

“You mean that Jace ..?”

“Even if Jace seems to care more for you those days, he would slip your throat with his hands just to save Alec's life. That's just it Clary. I suggest you to not try to get in their way. Like I've said, some parabatai are closer than others. The two of them are that kind of pairing. And I am not only talking about the fact that they'll become a couple someday.”

“What does that mean ?”

“This is way too intimate. That.. just belongs to them. I am not going to overshare. Plus I want them to discover that by themselves.”

Then he just waves her goodbye and opened a portal straight to his loft. Clary couldn't quite understand why they were so different, but Magnus could. And even though Alec could have been more, he would just lose him at some point. Like he told Clary, he would never come first and his heart would end up broken. 

Plus, he had to admit that what they could become was .. different. Beautiful, mesmerizing and scary. And oddly enough, he would enjoy watch them evolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ! Thank you for reading !
> 
> I know this is short but I kind of thought that this conversation was important.
> 
> I am going to play with different stuff for that fic, I don't know how long it is going to be, plus I am going back to university soon, but here we are !!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated ! Thanks !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alriiiight !  
So it has been a while since I had last updated this story.  
The thing is that, university started again, my work as a bartender aswell so.. No time !  
Also, wrote a chapter last week, and without thinking I clicked onto the cancel button on my phone. And I was pissed.  
Anyway, it turned out differently and I prefered it that way !
> 
> Enjoy !

J

Anyway, today was coming with an exchange pair of parabatai. That was something the Clave liked to do. Put pairs of parabatai against each other, then switch partners in order to make them surpass themselves, as they put it. It was the first time for Jace and Alec though. There wasn't a lot of parabatai pairs out there and they were all busy. Jace and Alec were waiting in the op's room for the other pair to arrive. They were mostly silent, observing around themselves. If sometimes they touch, and Jace was lingering on the touch a bit more than supposed, that was his business. And, if Alec was touching him more than usual, it was his business as well. Parabatais were tactile towards each other, one's soul looking for his other half. Nobody would be surprised if they were to catch a few touches. 

The other pair arrived. One was a bit smaller than the other. His frame was thinner, he had dark hair and hazel eyes. The other one had dark hair as well, but was more muscular. The smaller one had a huge smile on his lips as he approached them.

“Hi guys ! So my name is Czeslalw Adamski, I know unpronounceable ! So just go with Cez', and we will all be fine ! The broody one here is Adrian Galka. I swear he can smile. I saw it.”

Alec raised an eyebrow, throwing a glance at Jace, who had his shoulders trembling with laughter, hiding his smile behind his right hand. Alec shook hands with the two men.

“Alright, so Alec Lightwood and here is Jace Wayland.” 

Cez' threw a glance at Jace, rose his eyebrows and smiled while shaking his hand .

“So he is not the funny one, I assume ?”

Alec opened his mouth, starting to protest.

“I am very capable of being fun…”

“I'm joking, I'm joking. So, how is it going to be ? We're supposed to spend a few days here, so..”

“Yeah we're going to show you both your rooms” Jace replied.

“As in plural ?” asked Adrian, opening his mouth for the first time.

“Yeah ?” said Alec.

“We'd actually rather stay in the same room if you.. don't mind.. that” told Cez' seeming a little bit insecure for the first time.

“Yeah yeah, no worries about that. We can get that you don't want to be separated in an unknown place.”

“Thank you” they both replied. 

Alec started walking, leading the way toward their shared room, Jace flanked closely by his side. Cez' and Adrian were following. 

Jace opened the door and stayed behind.

“I hope this will be alright, there's a bathroom behind the door on your right” he told them. “If you need anything ask us, we will just be on the op's room or close by.”

“Hmm just wondering, who's the head of the institute ? We haven't met them” wondered Adrian.

“Alec's the actual head.” They gave him an impressed look, and Alec grumbled.

“Acting head more precisely. My parents are the actual head but.. I'm not sure you'll meet them.”

“Alright, handsome boss” said Cez' with a grin. Adrian gave a displeased glance at his parabatai. Alec apparently decided that the floor was marvelous, unsettled. Jace froze a bit, sensing the unnease through the bond and almost certainly, sending the same feeling as well. 

Adrian slapped his parabatai behind the head and pushed him into the room, sending apologetic looks towards the other pair, saying that they will meet them in a few minutes.

Alec and Jace started to head toward the op's room, when Alec mumbled.

“I've never had as many compliments as those recent days.”

“People realize that you're a good catch that's it” replied Jace trying to be detached.

“You..” began Alec, stopping his phrase. Jace stopped, taking his parabatai's arm in the meantime, to stop him as well.

“Tell me.”

“You think I'm a good catch ?” he asked, not sure of himself.

“I do, yeah. That's not a big deal.” shrugged Jace, starting to walk, and Alec, behind, muttered.

“Actually it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated !  
I like to know what you think of this, where you think this is going. What you think of the other parabatai pair, or anything you might want to say, or even to read, I could add some ideas, idk.  
Anyway !  
Thank you !

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, thanks if you are reading this !  
I don't know the story came out in my mind in 3:37 in the morning.
> 
> I have updated it since.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated !


End file.
